


come close and hold me tight

by dinosar



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Dorks in Love, First Time, Fluff, Fluff and Smut, Kissing, M/M, Tender Sex, ive been dead yet so alive since episode 7 i had to write a lil continuation, theyre so tender and in love Kill Me
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-22
Updated: 2016-11-22
Packaged: 2018-09-01 11:27:07
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,843
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8622835
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dinosar/pseuds/dinosar
Summary: yuuri and viktor talk about what happened after yuuri's free skate in china, and things progress from there





	

**Author's Note:**

> THIS GOT SO OUT OF HAND I DONT KNOW HOW IT ENDED UP THIS LONG
> 
> anyway im embarrassed bc i never ever write smut time to never show my face again : )
> 
> also there's lots of viktor speaking russian bc im Extra™
> 
> title is lyrics from intoxicated (aka chris' short program song) bc i listened to it about 300 times over the course of writing this ewikdhfbiwlekjdbvhwudskj
> 
> EDIT: fixed up some of the russian, thank u so much to everyone who sent me corrections <3 (hopefully i got it all)
> 
> enjoy this mess idk

Yuuri's quite sure that this has been the most emotionally taxing day of his life.

 

After Viktor's... _surprise_ , they're bombarded by reporters and fans alike. Yuuri hadn't expected any different, because that's something that _everyone_ is going to want to talk about―so yeah, he gets it. It's not something you see every day, after all.

 

But he's just so _tired._ He's running on fumes―he just doesn't have the energy for anyone who's not Viktor, not right now. Viktor thankfully seems to sense this, and instead of chastising him for not wanting to talk to people, he kindly excuses them whenever someone steps into their way until they make it to the safety of their rental car and head back toward their hotel.

 

The drive is silent. Yuuri looks out the window at the scenery, head resting on his hand, and tries to process everything that had happened.

 

He'd had a breakdown. Viktor had said something stupid to try and motivate him, but instead had made him cry. Viktor had offered to kiss him to make it better, which just had made him angry because he hadn't wanted Viktor to half-assedly comfort him and besides, he hadn't wanted that to be the only reason Viktor kissed him anyway. Crying and getting it all out had made him feel weirdly better, and he'd somehow managed to skate his routine near-perfectly despite having had no sleep the night before. And then Viktor had kissed him anyway, but...it had felt different than his previous offer to do so.

 

Yuuri wasn't sure what to make of it. He's definitely not upset that it had happened, but...he's just not sure what it means.

 

They reach their hotel room within moments, removing their coats once they're inside, and Yuuri clears his throat. Here goes nothing... “Hey, Viktor...?”

 

Viktor looks up from where he's placing his coat on the chair, a smile on his face. “Yes, _luchik_?”

 

Yuuri swallows hard, trying to ignore how nice Russian sounds rolling off of Viktor's tongue. He's not even sure what he'd just called him, but it at least _sounds_ nice. “You know how you, um...kissed me, when I finished skating?” Embarrasingly, his voice cracks, but he can't help it―he's nervous.

 

Viktor nods, suddenly looking solemn. “I apologize if that was too public a setting for you, or if you didn't want me to do it at all. I was just...very overcome, after watching you skate the way you did...” He rubs his face, sighing. “I'll understand if you're angry with me.”

 

“No no no, that's not it!” Yuuri quickly tells him, not wanting him to get the wrong idea.

 

Viktor raises an eyebrow. “Why bring it up, then?” he asks, sounding confused.

 

Yuuri can feel himself start to blush, and he fiddles with the sleeves of his sweater, pulling them down to cover his hands. “I just, ah...it feels embarrassing to ask, but...would you ever want to...do it again? Maybe like...now?”

 

Viktor blinks. “You want me to kiss you again? Right now?”

 

Immediately, Yuuri feels his anxiety spike. “Was that a weird thing to ask? Did I just make things weird? Oh god, that was probably just a one time thing, wasn't it? You were just overwhelmed, and I know that Europeans are freer with affection―”

 

Viktor starts to laugh, cutting off Yuuri's panicked train of thought. “Yuuri, _please_ , do you really think I'd kiss you on international television if it was just a one time thing?” he points out, voice turning gentle. A warm hand cups Yuuri's cheek, his thumb gently stroking the soft skin over his cheekbone. “When are you going to realize how utterly in love with you I am? What is it going to take to convince you, hmm? I thought that kissing you would finally make things clear, but it appears that you're still unsure...”

 

“Sorry,” Yuuri breathes, but he's actually not really sure what he's apologizing for. Clearing his throat, he hesitantly meets Viktor's eyes, finding a vast amount of patience and love in their turquoise depths, and it practically sucks the breath right out of him. He's never been looked at like that before, and it's...really nice. Kinda surreal, but... _definitely_ nice. “Anyway, you can...start by saying that again,” he says, gathering all of his courage. “That might, ah, help convince me...” Viktor loves him, he doesn't need to be afraid or unsure...

 

At that, the corners of Viktor's expressive eyes crinkle, a tender smile on his lips. “I love you, Yuuri, very much. Witnessing you grow and change has been the greatest pleasure of my life―nothing else has ever felt so rewarding to me. I never want it to end, so...if you'll have me, I'd like to stay by your side for as long as you'll allow it, as your coach and as...something more than that, too.” Now he looks a little embarrassed himself, maybe even a little unsure, and that's more reassuring to Yuuri than anything else. It's a reminder that Viktor really isn't perfect, that he gets nervous and feels unsure sometimes just like anyone else.

 

Reassured, Yuuri wraps his arms around Viktor's neck, pulling him down so that their foreheads touch. Viktor's eyes widen, a quiet sound of shock escaping him. “Yuuri?” he questions. “What are you doing?”

 

“Kissing my boyfriend,” Yuuri replies simply, before doing just that. He smiles when Viktor goes stiff with surprise―it's nice to know that he's able to catch Viktor off-guard, the same way that Viktor's caught him off-guard many times before. He soon relaxes though, arms settling around Yuuri's waist, and they stay like that for a moment, just learning the feel of each others' lips.

 

When they separate, Viktor gently kisses the tip of Yuuri's nose. “You should show this confidence more often,” he murmurs, rubbing their noses together. “ _And_ you should call me your boyfriend again, because I can't even put into words how much I enjoyed hearing you say that.” His voice dips a little lower in pitch, and Yuuri resists the urge to shudder.

 

Two can play at this game. Yuuri's learned from his Eros routine that he can be seductive if he wants to...

 

And right now, he _definitely_ wants to. It's a sudden want, but a want nonetheless.

 

“You're my boyfriend,” Yuuri breathes, trailing a fingertip down the side of Viktor's neck. He grins when he sees a muscle in Viktor's cheek jump, and wonders what he can do to get an even bigger reaction.

 

“Careful,” Viktor laughs, catching Yuuri's hand and kissing his knuckles.

 

Yuuri raises an eyebrow. “Of what?”

 

Viktor closes his eyes, taking a deep breath as if he's gathering strength or something. “Yuuri, you're tired. You didn't sleep last night, and you had an exhausting day. So maybe right now isn't the best time for you to use those charms of yours that you know I'm weak to,” he tells him, rubbing his thumb over the back of Yuuri's hand.

 

Yuuri puts on an air of faux innocence. “Hmm? What are you talking about?” he asks, even though he definitely knows. He just wants to see how far he can take this...

 

Viktor shakes his head, taking a step back. “I need to get my mind out of the gutter, apparently. It's nothing, Yuuri. Come on, let's just take a nap before dinner,” he suggests, forcing a smile.

 

“Mm...okay,” Yuuri agrees, reaching for the hem of his shirt and peeling it off along with his sweater. He does it as slowly and deliberately as he can without being too obvious, a nervous thrill going through him the entire time. He's never done anything like this before, but he knows that Viktor is attracted to him. It's enough of a confidence booster to let him get through it.

 

He kicks off his pants right after, and he can feel Viktor watching him the whole time. _Good_ , he thinks. _Don't take your eyes off me. I want you to look._

 

“Hey, do you think we can push the beds together?” Yuuri asks, draping his clothes over the arm of one of the chairs.

 

“Hmm?” As if coming out of a trance, Viktor shakes his head and blinks a few times. “Oh, yes, probably...you want to?”

 

Yuuri nods. “They're single beds, and...I know we managed to fit on one earlier, but it was a little cramped, wasn't it?”

 

“Alright then...let's push them together,” Viktor replies, shrugging. He appears almost nonchalant, but Yuuri knows him well enough to see that he's actually quite flustered. It's odd, seeing Viktor flustered when he himself is usually the flustered one. It's a nice change of pace, he thinks.

 

They each push their own bed until they meet in the middle, fitting together nicely. Slowly, Yuuri crawls in and slides under the covers, turning to meet Viktor's gaze. “Aren't you going to lay down?” he inquires.

 

“Ah, yes,” Viktor replies, starting to unbutton his shirt. Yuuri watches him strip, and it makes him feel even surer―he wants to do all sorts of things with Viktor.

 

When he's down to his underwear as well, he draws the curtains, blocking out most of the light in the room, then climbs into bed. He leaves a little space between them, and Yuuri sighs. He certainly isn't making things easy...but Yuuri supposes it's his own fault for teasing him.

 

Yuuri wiggles closer, slinging an arm around his torso and trying to keep his cool when their bare skin touches. Slowly, Viktor wraps his arms around him, holding him closer, and a content sigh leaves Yuuri.

 

“I'm really proud of you, Yuuri,” Viktor tells him, fingers carding through black hair. “Somehow, you always manage to exceed my expectations...when you went for that quad flip, I think I forgot how to breathe.” He laughs at himself, burying his face in Yuuri's hair. “I feel so lucky to be able to be a part of your life, to see you blossom into this confident, beautiful skater...”

 

“You're embarrassing,” Yuuri mumbles, face heating up. This is not going in the direction he'd planned...

 

“Let me dote on you a little,” Viktor protests, kissing the crown of his head. “But first, you need to get some sleep. I don't want you getting sick from exhaustion, you need to be in peak form for Rostelecom.”

 

“What if I don't want to sleep?”

 

“Well, if you really don't want to then I suppose we can just go have an early dinner and then call it a night―”

 

Shaking his head, Yuuri rolls on top of Viktor, watching as his eyes go wide. “I don't want to do any of that,” he says quietly, lips only a breath away from Viktor's.

 

Viktor swallows audibly. “Yuuri...think about what you're getting yourself into right now,” he says, and Yuuri likes the strain he hears creeping into his voice. Like he's trying terribly hard to hold himself back―Yuuri honestly wants nothing more than to make that self-control crumble to dust.

 

“I know what I'm doing, Viktor,” he answers. “I mean, I don't _know_ what I'm doing because I've never done anything like this before, but...” He looks deep into Viktor's eyes, taking a deep breath. “I know what I want. So...if it's alright with you, I would very much like to kiss you again.” He tries to ignore how embarrassed saying it makes him, because he doesn't want to be embarrassed. He's a grown adult, dammit.

 

“If it's what you really want,” Viktor begins, one hand sliding into the hair at the base of Yuuri's neck while the other slides down his side and draws a shiver from him, “then who am I to refuse?”

 

A shaky breath leaves Yuuri, and it takes everything he has not to just throw himself at Viktor. “So...you want this too? You...want me?”

 

“More than you'll ever know,” Viktor breathes, eyes half-lidded. “I just didn't want to push you into anything you weren't ready for. But I guess there's no problem since you're bringing it up, hmm?” He tugs Yuuri closer, bypassing his mouth to murmur in his ear. “You do crazy things to my self-control, Yuuri, you know that?”

 

Yuuri lets out a tiny moan, unable to help it when he feels hot breath hitting his skin like that. “That was the plan,” he replies shakily.

 

“Sneaky,” Viktor says lowly, kissing below Yuuri's earlobe before flipping them, momentarily shocking Yuuri with how sudden the change is. Viktor leans in close, until their lips barely an inch apart. “I'm going to need you to take responsibility, then.”

 

“I have no problem with that,” Yuuri says breathlessly, eyes closing as he grabs Viktor by the back of his neck and pulls him down, crushing their lips together and cutting off the conversation. His entire body is starting to feel warm, a tingling starting deep in his gut, and he feels surprisingly less nervous than he thought he would.

 

“I'll make it good,” Viktor promises, the words taking shape against Yuuri's lips. He kisses the corner of Yuuri's mouth, making his way down his jaw and continuing to his neck. “You deserve nothing but the best, after all,” he continues, and Yuuri swears he nearly dies when he feels Viktor's tongue slip out to slide against his skin, followed by gentle bites here and there.

 

“Viktor,” he moans, hands tangling in soft silver hair as his legs wrap around Viktor's waist, ankles hooking together. He jolts when their hips meet in the process, already mostly hard and surprised to find Viktor in the same state.

 

“Yes, love, that's it,” Viktor encourages, sucking a mark into the skin above his collarbone. “Let me hear how much you're enjoying this.”

 

“But it's embarrassing,” Yuuri protests, head thrown back.

 

A hand cups his jaw, Viktor's thumb rubbing his lower lip and tugging it down as he leans in close once more, warm breath hitting Yuuri's parted lips. “Why be embarrassed?” he asks, allowing their noses to touch. “I want to hear you, Yuuri...”

 

Yuuri lets out a quiet curse, reaching up to pull Viktor's hand from his face and lacing their fingers together so he can tilt his head up for another kiss. Viktor seems to approve, dipping to rub their hips together once more and taking advantage of the moan the younger man lets out and slipping his tongue in to flick against Yuuri's. Yuuri can't help it―he lets out what can only be described as a whine, his hand tightening around Viktor's. He feels almost dizzy, overwhelmed by all the new sensations, and he's not quite sure what to do with his own tongue since he hasn't exactly done this before...

 

Viktor seems to sense this, slowly pulling away and sitting up on his knees, still straddling Yuuri. He lovingly pushes Yuuri's hair out of his face with his free hand, pulling the hand he's holding to his mouth to gently brush a kiss against his knuckles. “You seem unsure, _lyubov_. What's wrong?” His tone is gentle, and it makes Yuuri's heart flutter. “We can stop if it's too much, I'm perfectly content to just hold you,” he offers, stroking his knuckles over Yuuri's reddened cheek.

 

“I love you so much,” is the first thing that comes out of Yuuri's mouth as he lets go of Viktor's hand so that he can push himself into a sitting position, wrapping his arms around Viktor's bare waist and burying his face in the crook of his neck. He loves that Viktor is so patient and worried about pushing him, but his concern isn't necessary. Yuuri needs to make sure he knows that. “I appreciate the offer, but I really do want this,” he tells him, the words slightly muffled by Viktor's skin. “I'm just worried. I know you're experienced, and...I'm not. At all. So I guess I'm just scared it won't be good for you, because...I really have no idea what I'm doing,” he continues to explain, a shaky breath leaving him as he admits his fears. He knows it's stupid, but...he can't help but worry. “I just want it to be good for you, too...”

 

“Yuuri...” Gently, Viktor pushes him back so that he can look him in the eyes, holding his face between his hands so that Yuuri can't look away out of embarrassment. “You worry too much. It'll be good no matter what, do you know how I know that?” Yuuri shakes his head as much as he can with Viktor holding his face, which draws a soft laugh from the older man. “I know it'll be good, Yuuri, because it's with you, the one I love. That's all that matters to me. So please try not to overthink things, okay?” There's a touch of mischief in his smile now. “I'm your coach, after all―it's my job to guide you, and teach you all of the things you don't know yet,” he jokes, slowly carding a hand through Yuuri's thick hair.

 

At that, Yuuri can't help but laugh. “Somehow I don't think that this is in the job description,” he points out, leaning into Viktor's hand. A warm feeling bubbles in his chest, and he rests a hand over the one Viktor still has on his cheek. “Thank you, Viktor. I feel better now,” he says, and he really means it. Viktor has this uncanny way of managing to put him at ease, and he's grateful for it.

 

“No need to thank me,” Viktor murmurs, a twinkle in his eyes. “For now, let's just take things slow, hmm? We'll go at a pace that works for you, and if you ever feel overwhelmed, we can stop. Because we have all the time in the world, okay? There's no need to rush anything you aren't ready for.”

 

Yuuri nods, a shy smile on his lips. “Okay,” he whispers, sucking his lower lip into his mouth. “Then, will you...kiss me again?”

 

“Anything for you,” Viktor answers, rubbing their noses together before gently pressing their lips together. True to his word, he goes slow, and Yuuri feels himself relax. _This is Viktor_ , he tells himself, draping his arms around Viktor's neck. _I don't need to be nervous, not with him. Not anymore._

 

Yuuri begins to move his lips against Viktor's more confidently, feeling brave enough to let his tongue slip out to slide against the seam of Viktor's lips. The sound he gets in response is better than anything he could've imagined―a stuttered gasp, followed by a low moan when Viktor opens his mouth.

 

It's here that Yuuri's confidence starts to falter again, though. How should he move his tongue? What should he do with his hands? He doesn't know any of this. But then he feels a tug on his arm, feels Viktor move it so that his hand can slide into pale silver hair, hears him make a low sound of encouragement, his own tongue sliding against Yuuri's in an attempt to guide him. His tongue teasingly flicks against the roof of Yuuri's mouth, and it's almost ticklish in a way, but it also sends a bolt of heat straight down to the pit of his belly.

 

Slowly, with Viktor's superb guidance, Yuuri becomes more comfortable. More daring, even. Before he really even realizes it, he's pushed Viktor onto his back, his body moving with a mind of its own as he confidently moves his mouth against the older man's. Viktor's hands grip his back, soft gasps and moans escaping him as his hips raise in search of friction, and the knowledge that Yuuri is making him react like this is absolutely _intoxicating_.

 

He pulls away, tugging Viktor's lower lip between his teeth like he's seen people do in movies, and it's apparently a good choice because the sound Viktor makes is like none other that he's heard yet. It's caught somewhere between a groan and a gasp, and Yuuri can only describe the sound as completely _wrecked_. “Am I doing good?” he asks when he lets Viktor's lip slip out from between his teeth, licking his own lips.

 

“I think you already know that you are,” Viktor accuses, cheeks dusted red as he valiantly struggles to breathe evenly. “I can see that you're going to be the death of me,” he laments, laying an arm over his eyes.

 

Yuuri laughs, leaning down to kiss the corner of his mouth before making his way lower, nipping at his jaw. “You're so dramatic,” he teases, peppering kisses down the long line of his pale throat.

 

“You love me for it,” Viktor mumbles, lifting his arm from his face and sliding his hands down the soft plane of Yuuri's back to toy with the hem of his boxer-briefs.

 

Unable to help it, Yuuri pulls back to meet Viktor's eyes, feeling so unbelievably tender for the man underneath him. “I do,” he hums, rubbing their noses together. “I love everything about you, even the stuff that drives me crazy sometimes.”

 

Viktor's mouth falls open at that, clearly not expecting it. But slowly, his expression turns fond, blue eyes crinkled in the corners. “You know, that's the first time that I've ever believed it when someone's told me that,” he says softly, sitting up and pushing Yuuri with him so that he sits on his lap. “It's quite a new feeling, being unconditionally loved for the real me instead of only the parts of me that people want to see. I think I like it,” he continues, and though his tone is light, Yuuri can tell that admitting it makes him nervous. He knows for a fact that Viktor isn't good with voicing his emotions, so hearing him try to do so with a brave face...it makes him feel warm and protective and privileged all at once.

 

“I'll say it as many times as you need to hear it,” Yuuri promises, kissing the tip of his nose. Then, he laughs. “We really aren't good at keeping up the sexy atmosphere, are we?”

 

A soft snort escapes Viktor. “This is just as good as anything else we could be doing, at least in my opinion,” he sighs, a tender smile on his lips. He takes one of Yuuri's hands, kissing the center of his palm before pressing it to his bare chest, right over his heart. Yuuri can feel the rhythmic thrum of it against his hand―it's beating quickly, despite the calm atmosphere. “No one's ever made my heart race this way,” he tells him, biting his lower lip. “You...make me feel things I wasn't sure I'd ever feel. What in the world are you doing to me, Yuuri?”

 

“Nothing special,” Yuuri replies, cheeks reddening. “Just...loving you, that's all.”

 

“Well, then...I'd like to make a request, if that's alright with you.”

 

Yuuri raises an eyebrow. “What is it?”

 

Viktor avoids his eyes for a moment, looking terribly vulnerable. Yuuri almost says something, but then he looks up again, and Yuuri can see the determination in his eyes. Clearly it's taking a lot of courage to say whatever he wants to say, so Yuuri waits for him to speak without interjecting. “Please don't ever stop,” he finishes, the words leaving him in a rush, “because I like this feeling, and I don't know if I'd ever be ready to lose it. To lose _you_. You mean the world to me, Yuuri...”

 

A lump rises suddenly in Yuuri's throat, and he hastily swallows it down. “I promise I won't,” he murmurs, tone gentle. “You don't ever have to be afraid of losing me, because I'm here to stay.” His hand is still resting over Viktor's heart, and he bites his lip to try and conceal his smile. “Wow, it's beating so fast,” he remarks, leaning their foreheads together as Viktor's arms tighten around him. “I never thought I'd see you so nervous.”

 

“ _Yuuri_ , don't tease me,” Viktor quietly whines.

 

Yuuri takes his hand off Viktor's chest, reaching up to cup his warm cheek instead. “I'm not trying to, really,” he promises. “I'm just...honored, I guess, that you're showing me this side of you. That you're letting me inside that head of yours,” he continues, tone gentle.

 

“You've shown me many sides of you,” Viktor says, attempting a nonchalant shrug. “It's about time I started doing the same. Because I trust you, Yuuri. More than I've ever trusted anyone, I think.”

 

“Hearing you say that...I'm so glad,” Yuuri tells him, trying his best not to get too emotional. “I think it goes without saying that I trust you, too,” he tacks on, letting his eyes fall shut. His chest feels unbelievably warm.

 

Viktor hums. “I know you do. And so I'll do my best to be worthy of that trust.”

 

“You already are,” Yuuri laughs softly, stroking the apple of his cheek with his thumb. “You don't have to do anything special.”

 

Viktor is silent for a moment. Then, “Sometimes I wonder how I got so lucky to have found you, Yuuri. I'm not sure what I did to deserve you, but...I'm very grateful nonetheless.”

 

“I feel the same.” Yuuri nudges their noses together, smiling softly. “Not to ruin the moment or anything, but...what do you want to do now?” he asks, sliding a hand through the soft hair on the back of Viktor's head, twirling the strands around his finger. He'd been almost desperate for Viktor before, but now a calm has washed over him, leaving him just feeling...warm. He's sure he'd be content with anything at this point.

 

“I want to do whatever you want to do,” Viktor answers with a smile of his own. “I'm not opposed to just staying like this, but I'm also _definitely_ not opposed to continuing from where we left off a few moments ago.”

 

“At this point, I'm fine with anything as long as it's with you,” Yuuri admits with a small, embarrassed smile.

 

The smile Viktor gives him in return is absolutely dazzling in its sincerity, and part of Yuuri wants to snap a quick photo. But his phone is all the way across the room and he's _really_ not in the mood to separate himself from Viktor at the moment, so he supposes he'll just have to do his best to commit it to memory.

 

“How about we just lay down together and go where the wind takes us, so to speak?” Viktor suggests, tilting his head up to kiss the younger man's forehead.

 

“I like that idea,” Yuuri answers, climbing off of Viktor's lap. Viktor lays down on his side and props himself up on one elbow, patting the empty space beside him, and Yuuri slowly lays down as well, a content sigh escaping him when Viktor wraps an arm around him and holds him close.

 

“Yuuri, you're beautiful,” Viktor says suddenly, gently stroking his side.

 

“And you're embarrassing,” Yuuri mumbles, cheeks heating up.

 

Viktor laughs. “Maybe. But I'm only telling the truth, _lyubov_.”

 

Swallowing hard, Yuuri reaches out to trace the lines of his collarbone, then along the dip of his ribcage and back. “I really love it when you say things in Russian like that,” he confesses. “I don't even know what you're calling me―for all I know, it could be something awful. But it sounds nice, so...I like it a lot.”

 

“You think I'd call you bad things in Russian?” Viktor asks, raising an eyebrow.

 

“It's not like I'd ever know,” Yuuri points out, shrugging.

 

Viktor sighs, smiling fondly. “I'd never do that.” Clearing his throat, he continues. “ _Lyubov_. Love. I'm calling you love, Yuuri.”

 

Yuuri's face goes a spectacular shade of red. “ _Oh_. Then yes, I definitely like that one.” His brow furrows. “What about the other one, from earlier?”

 

“Hmm?” Viktor pauses for a moment to think, a soft “ah” leaving him when he remembers. “Oh, _luchik_?” Yuuri nods, and Viktor cups his jaw, grinning. “I was calling you, hmm, what's the word...ah, sunbeam, that's it,” he explains. “My sunbeam. _Luchik moy_.”

 

“...I hope you know I'm about five seconds away from kissing you,” Yuuri announces, more than slightly embarrassed by how emotional he is about Viktor calling him _his sunbeam_.

 

Viktor's grin widens. “Oh? Had I known it would make you react like that, I would've called you that more often―mmf!” He's cut off by Yuuri practically tackling him, slamming their mouths together in a way that borders on the edge of painful. Yuuri doesn't care, though, and Viktor doesn't either judging by the way his arms wrap around Yuuri's smaller frame, tugging him closer until he's half on top of him.

 

“I don't know what came over me,” Yuuri apologizes against his lips a moment later, hands tangled in Viktor's hair. They kiss again two, three, four times before Viktor answers.

 

“I'm not complaining,” he shrugs, knocking their noses together. “I like knowing I've overwhelmed you so much that all you can think of doing is kissing me,” he teases, a mischievous grin on his lips.”

 

“I swear, you get more embarrassing by the minute,” Yuuri laments.

 

“You know you don't really mind it,” Viktor points out.

 

Yuuri groans. “You may have a point, but it doesn't change the fact that you're embarrassing.”

 

“Shh,” Viktor hushes him, rolling them over. “Your lips are so soft, I'd like to kiss them again,” he whispers, ducking in close once more.

 

A soft gasp escapes Yuuri when he nods, giving Viktor permission. This time, Viktor wastes no time before licking into his mouth, coaxing Yuuri's tongue to play with his own. Yuuri thinks he might be getting better at this―he doesn't feel nearly as unsure as he had before, confidently meeting Viktor's every move.

 

He decides he definitely likes open-mouthed kisses.

 

He thinks he nearly dies when Viktor bites his lip, much like Yuuri had done to him earlier. He understands Viktor's reaction now―it's definitely...really hot, for lack of a better explanation. This one simple action suddenly has Yuuri feeling hotter, and when Viktor's hand finds the band of his underwear again, the sound Yuuri makes is bordering on desperate.

 

“May I?” Viktor pulls away to ask, breathing heavily. His mouth is red, lips wet, and he looks more irresistible then he ever has.

 

“I...” Yuuri's throat feels dry. He wants to say yes, and it's not as if Viktor's never seen him naked, but...this feels different. _Heavier_ , he supposes. He's never been naked with anyone in this context. “I'm...kind of nervous,” he admits, voice small.

 

“Yuuri, you know I will never, ever push you to do something you're not ready for,” Viktor says, suddenly sounding very serious. “But you know it's just me, yes? I understand being nervous since this is new territory for you, but I promise there's nothing to worry about.”

 

“I know,” Yuuri replies, swallowing hard. “It's just...really new. I want to do this, I really do, it's just hard not to be nervous...” He covers his face in embarrassment, wondering why he has to act so childishly. He's a grown adult who wants to do grown adult things with the man he loves, the man who loves him back, so...why is he so nervous about it?

 

Gently, Viktor pulls one of his hands from his face, kissing the back of his hand, then his knuckles, then the tips of each of his fingers and his palm, placing one final kiss on his inner wrist before speaking. “Would it help if I went first? If it makes you more comfortable, I will. But know that at any moment, no matter what, we can stop everything. Your comfort is my priority, and there's no need to rush or push yourself if you're unsure, especially if it's for _my_ sake.”

 

“I know you'd never push me,” Yuuri assures him, cracking a small smile. “I'm just being silly. Can we just...do it at the same time, maybe?” he questions, biting his lip.

 

Viktor's eyes soften. “Anything for you, _miliy moy_.”

 

“I like the sound of that one,” Yuuri hums as Viktor sits up, holding out a hand to help him do the same. They look at each other for a moment, a nervous flutter in Yuuri's chest, before he speaks again. “Instead of, um, watching...can we maybe just kiss again, and...maybe help each other take them off?”

 

The older man nods. “If it makes you feel comfortable, I'll do just about anything,” he answers, wrapping his arms around Yuuri's middle and pressing a gentle kiss to his temple.

 

Feeling slightly less jittery, Yuuri rests his palms on Viktor's muscled abdomen, slowly sliding his hands up until they rest on his shoulders, where he can gently grip him for the moment as they lean in again, lips meeting once more in a tender kiss that makes Yuuri's heart feel like it might just beat right out of his chest.

 

They're like that for a moment, Viktor clearly not wanting to make a move first and risk spooking Yuuri. Realizing this, Yuuri gathers his courage before gradually deepening the kiss, slowly slipping his hands back downward, rubbing them over his chest, then his abs, until he reaches the elastic of Viktor's tight black briefs. Viktor's hands give Yuuri's waist an encouraging squeeze, giving him the courage to slip his fingers beneath the band and start tugging it down his narrow hips. Viktor gives him a light tug, rising to his knees and urging Yuuri to do the same. It makes pulling them down much easier, and Yuuri silently praises Viktor's ability to think things out in this situation, because he himself is pretty useless in the thinking department at the moment.

 

His entire body jolts when Viktor's hands leave his waist to slip down the back of his underwear, cupping his ass and squeezing it. Viktor immediately starts pulling away, but Yuuri shakes his head. “No, it's fine, I was just surprised,” he promises, momentarily breaking their kiss. He doesn't look down. “I promise I'm okay, keep going.” Knowing Viktor won't be easily convinced, he clears his throat, feeling his face heat up from what he's about to say. “I like feeling your hands on me like this, Viktor...”

 

Viktor mutters what is most likely a curse in Russian, urgently kissing Yuuri again. Yuuri pushes Viktor's briefs all the way down his thighs for him to kick off whenever he gets the chance, and a startlingly loud moan escapes him when Viktor gives his ass another light squeeze before pushing the tight boxer-briefs down his thighs as well, leaving both of them bare.

 

“Okay?” Viktor asks lowly against his mouth, a hand sliding up to gently rake through Yuuri's hair.

 

“Perfect,” Yuuri confirms, slowly pulling away so he can lay back, hooking his fingers into the underwear around his thighs and pulling them all the way off before tossing them aside, swallowing hard. Viktor is trying valiantly not to stare, which makes him feel a little better, but...he thinks maybe he wants him to look, now, and to finish taking off his own. “You can look at me, it's okay,” he says quietly, still embarrassed but definitely better.

 

Viktor steps out of his underwear, licking his lips as he slowly lets his eyes rake over Yuuri's body once before they slide back up to meet Yuuri's brown ones as he leans in, a hand cupping his neck. “You are so unbelievably gorgeous, Yuuri. I must be the luckiest man alive, to have you trust me with your body and your heart like this,” he says softly, but in a way that allows absolutely no room for Yuuri to doubt the sincerity of his words.

 

“If you're the luckiest man alive, what would that make me?” Yuuri asks, hands finding their way back into Viktor's hair, gently toying with the silky strands.

 

“Hmm...second luckiest, I suppose. There's definitely no way you're luckier than I am,” Viktor answers, smiling.

 

Yuuri laughs, feeling a little bashful. “I'd have to disagree with that.”

 

Viktor hums, pretending to think about it. “Fine, how about we're both equally as lucky? But secretly I'll still know I'm luckier than you.”

 

A quiet snort escapes Yuuri. “It's not a secret if you tell me, you know?”

 

“I guess I'll just have to make you forget you heard that, then,” he murmurs, and then any further conversation on the subject is cut off because Viktor takes the opportunity to kiss him once more. Yuuri sighs softly into the kiss, feeling himself become more relaxed by the second as he wonders what he was so scared of.

 

Viktor's hand gently strokes along his ribcage, down to his hip and back, relaxing him further. He must be able to tell by Yuuri's body language or something, because when he pulls away, he asks, “Is it alright if I touch you now, Yuuri?”

 

Yuuri nods, shifting and allowing a hand to fall behind his head while the other trails down Viktor's spine. “I'm all yours,” he answers, proud when his voice doesn't shake even a little bit.

 

Viktor visibly shivers at that. “If there's anything you don't like, I want you to be completely honest with me about it,” he says, voice dipping low. “Promise me you'll be honest, Yuuri.”

 

“I promise.” Yuuri's hand slides down Viktor's arm until he reaches his hand, surprised when he finds it shaking slightly. “Viktor?” he questions, taking it between both of his own and giving it a squeeze as he sits up, allowing their foreheads to touch once more.

 

“You said earlier that you were scared because you wanted to make sure it was good for me,” Viktor murmurs, looking down the the hand held between both of Yuuri's. “But...what you don't realize is that I'm scared about that, too. Yuuri...I can't express how honored I am that you trust me enough to let me see you in a way no one else ever has, don't get me wrong, but...I want to make sure it's perfect for you. I don't want to do anything that will upset you or make you uncomfortable, but it's hard when I don't know what you do or don't like. So I just...need to make sure you'll be totally honest and not worry about hurting any feelings, because your pleasure is my priority.”

 

“Viktor...” Gently, Yuuri brings his hand to his mouth and kisses it, much like Viktor had before. “It's...really nice that you're so worried, but I think you're overthinking things,” he says softly, offering a smile. He hadn't known Viktor had been so worried. “I promise I'll be honest about everything, you don't have to worry so much. I love you, and I want to do this with you, so...” He trails off, not quite knowing what else he can say, but thankfully Viktor seems to be put at ease by his words.

 

“What a pair we make,” he jokes, cracking a smile. “I'll try to worry less, because I trust your word. Do you want to lay back down?”

 

Yuuri nods, leaning in for a gentle kiss. “One for the road,” he grins, laying back and making himself comfortable. In a way, Viktor's worries have put his own at ease―because this is a new thing for both of them. Sure, Viktor may have been with other people in the past, but it was unfair of Yuuri to just assume he wouldn't have worries of his own just because of that. Every first time with someone is just that― _a first time_. No two people are the same. So it makes sense that Viktor would be just as nervous about screwing this up as Yuuri is.

 

Viktor leans over him once more, gently placing his hands on Yuuri's waist as he kisses him on the mouth once, twice, making him a relaxed as possible before he begins his journey downward. His hands rub up and down, nails gently scraping against Yuuri's sensitive skin and causing goosebumps to rise to the surface as Viktor mouths at his neck. When he reaches his collarbone, his hands start to move lower, thumbs rubbing the indents of his hips as he gently grips them, drawing soft sounds from Yuuri's mouth. The touches are simple, but powerful―he's slowly making every nerve in Yuuri's body come alive, and the sensation is like nothing Yuuri's ever felt before.

 

“Ah, Viktor, please,” he sighs, tilting his head back. He wants more, but saying that out loud would be way too embarrassing.

 

“Please what? Use your words, _lyubov_ ,” Viktor reminds him gently, moving back up to kiss his exposed neck. “I can't possibly know what you want if you don't tell me. You made a promise to me, I hope you intend to keep it.”

 

“But...saying it would be too embarrassing,” Yuuri protests, gasping when he feels a flash of teeth against the delicate skin of his neck.

 

“Please, Yuuri? For me?” The words are hot against his skin, making him shiver and let out what sounds like a hiss.

 

A whine escapes him. “Please, Viktor, I'm so hot, please just touch me,” he practically begs.

 

He feels that wicked mouth form a smile. “But I _am_ touching you,” he points out, rubbing from his hips to his thighs, back and forth maddeningly slow.

 

“You know what I mean!” Yuuri insists, groaning in frustration. “Don't...don't make me say it...”

 

Viktor leaves his neck alone, slinking down his torso and leaving kisses and nips in his wake. “Could it be that you want me...here?” he asks, hot breath hitting Yuuri's dick where it rests against his toned stomach, hard and wanting.

 

Yuuri can't control the loud moan that leaves him at that; even just the feel of Viktor's breath against it is enough to drive him insane. “Yes, oh god yes, Viktor _please_.” He's definitely begging now, but he doesn't care. Viktor's mouth and hands are so close to where he wants them...

 

Viktor gently spreads his legs so he can slip between them, lifting them to rest on his shoulders. The position is embarrassing, but Yuuri doesn't have the presence of mind necessary to care about that right now. He doesn't think he's ever been so turned on in his life...

 

He feels that hot breath again, and his breath catches in anticipation. But then it moves lower, and Yuuri groans―a sound that quickly morphs into a shocked moan when Viktor starts kissing and nipping at his thighs, pausing to suck a few marks into them here and there. The skin there is so unbelievably sensitive that he can't help but squirm, drawing a throaty laugh from Viktor as he grabs his hips once more to hold him still. “Sensitive, isn't it?” he hums, worrying another mark into the skin there. Yuuri has a feeling that he's going to be feeling it for the next few days... “You're so receptive, it's driving me crazy,” he murmurs into Yuuri's thigh. “I want to draw all sorts of reactions from you, Yuuri. You'll show me more, won't you?”

 

Yuuri covers his face in embarrassment. “Viktor, please...”

 

He feels Viktor shift, feels the stretch as he leans in closer with Yuuri's legs still over his shoulders, bending his body and putting his good flexibility to use. Warm hands tug at Yuuri's own, pulling them from his face, and Viktor's eyes look darker than he's ever seen them. “Don't hide yourself from me,” he requests, kissing from the palm of one of his hands to the crease of his elbow and lifting his hands to slide into his own hair, silently encouraging him to grip it. Yuuri does so without much thought, gasping when Viktor guides his hands to push himself back down Yuuri's body. “Just show me what you want. Don't be afraid,” he breathes.

 

“Oh my god,” Yuuri moans, and Viktor kisses his abs as he waits for Yuuri to direct him. Swallowing hard, Yuuri gathers his courage and pushes him lower, until his mouth is mere inches from his straining erection. “Here,” he whispers, squeezing his eyes shut. “Please,” he adds, because even if he feels like he might die from embarrassment, he's nothing if not polite.

 

He hears a low chuckle. “That's more like it,” he says, before he finally gives Yuuri the contact he's desperate for.

 

The feeling of Viktor's mouth around him is...indescribable. It's hot, it's soft, his tongue gently toying with the head of his dick before he takes him in deeper. Yuuri really hopes that the walls are thick in this place, because it's literally impossible for him to keep himself quiet―loud moans and curses escape against his will, which only seems to spur Viktor on even more. As a few moments pass and his head starts moving faster, Yuuri has the terrible thought that he's just not going to last. He knows he's inexperienced, but it's still embarrassing to be so close, so quickly.

 

His hands unconsciously tighten in Viktor's hair. “Viktor, if you keep going I―” His sentence is abruptly cut off as Viktor starts to gently pump the base of his cock with one hand while his mouth focuses on the head, tearing the loudest moan yet from his throat. Viktor hums around him, the action causing Yuuri's hips to involuntarily raise, pushing himself farther into Viktor's mouth. “Sorry, I didn't mean to do that,” he gasps, embarrassed and hoping he didn't hurt him.

 

Viktor's mouth pulls off of him with an embarrassingly loud pop. “No need to apologize, you won't hurt me that easily,” Viktor tells him, and the sight of him as he kisses a line up Yuuri's dick from the base to the head, pupils blown with lust, is like something straight out of a wet dream. “I'm glad I'm able to draw such a reaction from you,” he adds, licking his lips, and Yuuri wonders if this it, if this is how he's going to die.

 

“It's too much,” Yuuri mumbles, fingers clenching and unclenching around Viktor's hair. “If you keep going like this, it's going to end too soon...” He swallows hard. “Besides...I haven't gotten to, ah, touch you yet.” It becoming an increasingly persistent worry that he's going to die of embarrassment―Yuuri's not sure that's even possible, but if it were to happen to anyone, he's sure it would happen to him.

 

Viktor's eyes widen for a moment before he smirks, raising a single eyebrow. “I wasn't aware you wanted to touch me so badly, Yuuri. All you had to do was ask,” he tells him, gently letting Yuuri's legs fall from his shoulders and crawling back up his body. “Feel free to explore to your heart's content, _dorogaya_. I'm all yours.”

 

Yuuri gulps, reminding himself that he should be confident. _It's only Viktor_. “In that case...sit up, please?” he requests, hesitantly meeting Viktor's eyes. There's patience in them, as well as anticipation, and he quietly does as Yuuri asks. The younger man chances a look down, finding Viktor hard and straining, his cock flushed a deep red. The sight of it probably should've intimidated Yuuri, since the only dick he's ever handled is his own, but instead he feels nothing but an all-consuming hunger that shocks him in its intensity.

 

“Yuuri?” Viktor asks after a moment, sounding slightly confused, and that's when Yuuri realizes he's been staring.

 

“Sorry,” he breathes, licking his lips. “I was just thinking about how much I want you.”

 

Viktor lets out a sharp gasp at that, surprising Yuuri (and himself, if his wide eyes are anything to go by). “Take what you want,” he sighs, leaning back on his hands. “I'll give you anything, Yuuri...”

 

Yuuri lays a hand on Viktor's pale thigh, slowly sliding it upward and then back down, repeating the process and watching Viktor shudder. It's a heady feeling, having Viktor under him like this, causing him to react in ways he never thought he would because of him. “And what do _you_ want, Viktor?” he asks, playfully arching an eyebrow. “I mean, since you were so intent on asking me...” He shouldn't tease, but it's too hard to resist―especially after Viktor had made him admit such embarrassing things moments earlier.

 

“I've created a monster,” Viktor whines, eyebrows knitting together.

 

Yuuri laughs. “No dodging the question,” he tuts, letting his fingernails lightly scrape against Viktor's skin as his hand descends back toward his knee, watching in fascination as goosebumps rise.

 

“I want you to do whatever you're comfortable with―”

 

“Ah ah,” Yuuri interrupts, free hand raising to press a finger over Viktor's lips. “It's all new to me anyway, so I want to do something you want. I want to learn, Viktor, so teach me what you like.”

 

“Why must you make arguing so difficult?” Viktor mutters, shaking his head. “I just...don't want to push you into doing anything you're uncomforable with.”

 

“I already promised I'd tell you if I'm ever uncomfortable, didn't I?” he points out. “Trust me, Viktor.”

 

“...you make a valid point. Okay, fine,” he acquiesces, letting out a long breath. “Then...” He takes Yuuri's hand from his thigh, movements still a little hesitant when he pulls it toward his dick, gently closing his palm around it. “We'll start here. Keep your grip a little on the firm side,” he directs him, licking his lips. “Don't go too fast, but not too slow, either,” he continues. “And...kiss me, please,” he finishes, face adorably red.

 

Yuuri takes all of his direction in stride, starting to move his hand slowly at first before steadily picking up speed as he leans in to capture Viktor's lips in a deep kiss, slipping his tongue between parted lips to coax Viktor's into sliding against his. It doesn't take much―as Viktor relaxes into Yuuri's touch, he becomes more eager, tangling his hands in dark hair and moaning into Yuuri's mouth when he does something he particularly likes. He finds it's not much different than touching himself, other than the fact that the angle is different...so this, thankfully, is something he feels confident in.

 

“Am I doing good?” Yuuri pulls away to ask, voice low. He twists his hand around the head of Viktor's dick, drawing a loud moan from his reddened lips.

 

“Ah, yes, you're doing so well―” His sentence trails off into a deep groan when Yuuri starts to kiss his neck, feeling bold enough to nip a few marks into his pale skin. They probably won't be covered by any of his suits, he realizes belatedly, but that's a problem for later. Right now, he just wants to mark up that pale skin. “Yes, just like that,” Viktor gasps, pressing Yuuri's face into his neck even more. At least Viktor doesn't seem to mind...

 

“Tell me what else I can do,” Yuuri murmurs into the skin below his ear, gently sucking at it. Viktor lets out a wrecked-sounding groan, and Yuuri figures he must've found a sensitive spot.

 

“This is all I need, really―”

 

“If you can honestly tell me you're fully satisfied with just my hand, I won't question it,” Yuuri tells him, nosing at his neck. “But I want to give you more if you want it. Tell me, Viktor. Do you want my mouth?” he asks, making Viktor shiver. “Or...maybe something else,” he suggests, climbing into his lap, letting Viktor's dick rest against his ass. It's thrilling, being this bold―he's not sure where the confidence came from, but he likes it. He _wants_ to be confident with Viktor, because he knows that the older man responds well to his confidence.

 

“Yuuri, do you even realize what you're offering?” Viktor questions, and there's that strained voice again that Yuuri loves. He loves knowing that he's able to test his self control.

 

Yuuri hums affirmatively, leaving Viktor's neck alone for now so that he can press their foreheads together. “I'm ready for anything as long as it's with you,” he tells him, cupping his jaw with both hands. His voice lowers as his lips move just a breath away from Viktor's. “Besides, it's not as if I've never touched myself there,” he confesses, doing his best to squash down the embarrassment that comes with admitting such a thing.

 

Before he knows it, he's on his back, pinned to the mattress. “You're going to make me have a heart attack,” Viktor growls, an almost feral look in his eyes.

 

“Please, you're not that old,” Yuuri teases, stretching up to peck him on the lips. “I'm just saying, the offer is there if you want it...”

 

“You really think I wouldn't?” Viktor asks, incredulous. “Of course I want it, Yuuri, but...are you sure you're ready for that? You're sure you won't regret it? I know it's probably annoying of me to be asking you so much but...” He pauses, sliding a hand through Yuuri's hair. “I love you, and I don't want you to make any decisions you'll regret.”

 

“I won't regret it,” Yuuri says firmly, completely sure. “I love you, and I know you'll be gentle with me. So I promise it's okay. I _want_ this, Viktor, so as long as you want it too, then I don't see a problem.”

 

“I definitely want this,” Viktor murmurs, kissing the tip of Yuuri's nose. “I won't question you any further, then,” he promises, leaning his forehead against Yuuri's. “Wait here for a moment?”

 

Yuuri nods, a nervous thrill going through him. He can't believe he's about to do it for real―with Viktor, the love of his life, no less. It feels surreal, but...even though he's nervous, he's excited. He wants to give every part of himself to Viktor, so...he's ready to take this step.

 

Viktor rises, heading over to his suitcase and rifling through it for a moment. Yuuri props himself up on his elbow, watching, an unbelievably fond feeling washing over him. He loves this man more than he can ever explain.

 

Viktor returns to him, a condom and a bottle of lube in hand. “Good thing I'm always prepared, hmm?” he jokes, but he seems nervous. It's cute that he's so worried, even though he doesn't have to be.

 

“Definitely,” Yuuri answers, sitting up and reaching out to pull Viktor back onto the bed, wrapping his arms around him tight. “I love you,” he says softly, kissing his cheek.

 

Viktor smiles, some of the barely-noticeable tension leaving him. “I love you too,” he answers, and their foreheads touch once more. His voice goes softer as he continues. “ _Lyublyu tebya vsem sertsem, vsey dushoy,_ Yuuri.”

 

A warm feeling spreads through Yuuri's chest. “I don't know exactly what you said,” he begins, sliding a hand through Viktor's hair, “but I can tell it was nice, because I heard 'love' in there.”

 

Viktor hums. “Just me being sappy, don't mind it,” he tells him with a soft laugh. “Are you ready, Yuuri?”

 

Smiling, Yuuri nods. “Yeah,” he whispers, closing his eyes as Viktor kisses him, more tenderly than he ever has. It makes his heart feel like it could burst any second.

 

Slowly, Yuuri lays back against the pillows, pulling Viktor with him. He jumps a little when he hears the bottle open, his nerves momentarily getting the better of him, but quickly relaxes once more when Viktor pulls away to kiss his forehead. “I swear I won't hurt you,” Viktor promises, brushing Yuuri's bangs out of his face.

 

A quiet laugh escapes Yuuri. “I know.”

 

“Just focus on kissing me while we get the unpleasant part out of the way, mm?” Viktor suggests, pressing butterfly kisses all over his face.

 

“I can do that,” Yuuri replies, slinging his arms around Viktor's neck.

 

It's weird at first, having someone else's finger inside of him, but Viktor does a good job of distracting him and getting him used to it. Before long, he's wiggling around and trying to get him deeper, which only makes Viktor kiss him harder. _He must be getting desperate_ , Yuuri muses to himself. _That makes two of us, I guess._

 

When Viktor is satisfied that he's done as much as he can to prepare him, he straightens up, leaving Yuuri flushed and panting against the bed. Reaching for a towel one of them had discarded that morning, he wipes a hand on it, then grabs the condom and gently tears the wrapper, pulling it out. Yuuri watches him roll it over himself, tongue slipping out to wet his lips. It's really going to happen, he realizes. He's going to have sex with Viktor.

 

Viktor slicks himself up with what's probably an excessive amount of lube, ever the worrier, and it makes Yuuri's heart feel light. He knows everything is going to be fine―Viktor only has his comfort in mind, it's clear as day to see.

 

“Are you ready, _luchik_?” he asks, a tiny crease in his brow.

 

Yuuri wants to get rid of that crease, to get rid of his worry. “I think I was ready ten minutes ago,” he teases, stroking Viktor's cheek with his thumb.

 

Viktor smiles at that. Yuuri's words having the right effect―the crease in his brow is gone. “ _Funny_. Tease me all you want, but you'll thank me for it later,” he says with a quiet huff.

 

“I know,” Yuuri hums, unable to help smiling. “Thank you for caring so much, Viktor.”

 

“That's not something I need to be thanked for,” Viktor shrugs. He moves in closer, tapping Yuuri's leg gently. “If you want to wrap your legs around me, that's fine. Just make yourself comfortable, okay? It's going to be weird at first, and even though I did my best to prepare you, it'll probably still hurt a little bit. But you can squeeze my hand, okay? I'm here with you all the way, and we can stop at any time,” he says gently, holding out a hand for Yuuri to take.

 

Yuuri accepts the offered hands, tangling their fingers together and giving it a squeeze. “I love you so much,” he whispers, feeling a bit like a broken record with how much he's said it but finding himself unable to stop. He just...loves him so much, especially when he's being so sweet and gentle and considerate like this.

 

“And I love you,” Viktor answers, and then kisses him once more. Yuuri squeezes his hand again as Viktor guides himself inside, moving as carefully and slowly as possible. It's not the worst feeling in the world, he supposes, but he's not sure if he'd go so far as to call it _pleasant_ ―it's definitely very different from just fingers, that's for sure.

 

“Talk to me,” Viktor requests as soon as he's fully inside of him, the words taking shape against Yuuri's mouth. “Are you okay?”

 

Slowly, Yuuri nods. “It's...weird,” he admits. “It almost feels like it shouldn't be able to fit, but...I promise it's okay. I just need a minute to get used to it, so...go slowly, please...”

 

“Of course,” Viktor replies, kissing his forehead gently as he slowly starts sliding back out. The sensation makes Yuuri's toes curl the slightest bit―everything feels so hypersensitive, but not exactly in a bad way. His eyes fall shut as he lets himself grow accustomed to the feeling, to the stretch, and Viktor gently kisses his eyelids as he continues his slow thrusts, causing the smallest smile to form on Yuuri's lips.

 

“You can, ah, go a little faster,” Yuuri tells him a moment later, head falling to the side. It's starting to feel much better, _good_ even.

 

Viktor immediately does as he's told, picking up the pace enough that it's noticeable. “You feel so wonderful,” he sighs, lifting the hand he's still holding and kissing the back of it. “You're so warm and tight around me, I feel like I might die...”

 

Yuuri jolts, moaning when Viktor's dick rubs against his prostate. “Ah, Viktor, do that again, please,” he gasps, free hand gripping the older man's smooth back as he tightly squeezes his hand.

 

Viktor lets out a breathless laugh, but does as he's asked―Yuuri whines, hooking a leg around Viktor's waist as his toes curl. “You make the loveliest sounds,” Viktor coos. “You're so beautiful, Yuuri.”

 

“Viktor, more,” he mumbles, letting go of his hand to wrap it around him, nails digging in. Viktor groans at the sensation, immediately starting to move his hips faster, and Yuuri swears he sees stars when Viktor hits his prostate again and again.

 

“Ah, Yuuri,” he hisses a few moments later, burying his face in Yuuri's neck. “You feel so good, I don't know how much longer I can keep this up,” he admits, kissing the expanse of skin in front of me.

 

“Me too,” Yuuri practically cries, holding Viktor for dear life. He doesn't think anything has ever felt this good―Viktor is hitting his prostate almost constantly, and his dick is rubbing against Viktor's abs and creating delicious friction. “Viktor, it's―so good,” he hiccups, eyes squeezed shut.

 

“Look at me,” Viktor practically pleads, reaching up to stroke his cheek. Yuuri's eyes crack open, and he feels almost delirious with pleasure. “I want you to keep looking at me, _ti kraslvaya_ , Yuuri, I want to see everything you feel,” he continues, the words leaving him like a breathless prayer. He takes Yuuri's cock in his hand, stroking it in time with his thrusting, and that's it.

 

“Viktor,” Yuuri sobs, throwing his head back as his back arches, his body shaking almost violently as his orgasm sweeps through him. Distantly, he hears Viktor let out what sounds like a curse in Russian, his thrusting reaching a feverish pace before stopping altogether as he collapses bonelessly on top of Yuuri.

 

For a few moments, everything is quiet. Yuuri can feel Viktor's heartbeat against his chest, and he lazily lifts a hand to slide it into sweat-damp silver hair, gently carding through the strands. Viktor lets out a contented hum, nuzzling into his neck and placing a sweet kiss to the skin there, and Yuuri wonders how it's even possible to feel this happy―everything feels calm, like nothing else exists but the two of them, and it's...really nice.

 

Viktor lifts his head, slowly blinking as the corners of his mouth lift in a dopey smile. “Hey,” he whispers, tracing nonsense patterns on Yuuri's chest.

 

“Hey,” Yuuri replies, laughing softly.

 

“You're beautiful,” he states, eyes crinkled in the corners.

 

Yuuri's face heats up. “So I've heard, multiple times tonight...”

 

“Just making sure you're aware,” Viktor says simply, leaning in to capture Yuuri's lips in the softest of kisses. “I love you,” he murmurs, rubbing their noses together.

 

“I love you too,” Yuuri whispers, closing his eyes.

 

Gently, Viktor pulls out, making Yuuri grimace as he realizes just how much of a mess he is. He doesn't even have to say anything, though, because Viktor is already getting up, pulling off the condom and tossing it in the trash. “I'll be right back, _lyubov_ , I'm going to get a warm cloth,” he tells him, leaning down to kiss his forehead before padding off naked to the bathroom.

 

That's when Yuuri notices the scratches, and he swears he blushes right down to his chest.

 

Viktor returns with a wet cloth, gently wiping the mess from Yuuri's stomach and laughing at how red he is. “What is it?” he questions, arching an eyebrow.

 

“I...your back...I'm sorry, I didn't mean to scratch you!” he stutters out, covering his face.

 

He hears Viktor laugh, peeking through a crack in his fingers to find his head thrown back. “I don't mind it at all, don't you worry. It felt nice,” he assures him, patting Yuuri's hair. “There's no need to be embarrassed, it just tells me how much you enjoyed yourself,” he shrugs. “I like the thought of you marking me up, anyway.”

 

“Kill me,” Yuuri groans, curling into a ball.

 

Viktor laughs again, laying back down and pulling Yuuri to his chest, gently kissing the crown of his head. “I'd miss you too much,” he says softly, nuzzling his face into his hair. “Anyway, you need to sleep now, okay? You've been awake far too long, it's not good for you...”

 

Yuuri hesitantly uncurls himself from his ball, curling himself around Viktor instead. “...one more kiss?” he asks, because he thinks he might be addicted.

 

Viktor's eyes crinkle once more, a soft, tender look in their blue depths, and he pretends to sigh. “If I must,” he teases, kissing him softly. “Satisfied?”

 

“For now,” Yuuri answers lightly, curling closer into Viktor's chest. He really is exhausted, so Viktor is right―he needs to sleep.

 

Before he knows it, he's out like a light, too warm and content to even fight it.

 

**Author's Note:**

> if theres any mistakes its bc i was too embarrassed to reread the smut
> 
> also i googled russian terms of endearment for all of the russian used in this fic so if any of it is wrong let me kno bc i do Not speak russian (although i did try to learn it when i was like 14 l m a o)
> 
> as always, heres the ol [tumblr](http://nikiforohv.tumblr.com)
> 
> anyway time for me to die of embarrassment now, it was nice knowing yall


End file.
